One of the most famous Bible verses of all time comes from John 3:16. I doubt I have to quote this for you but to save you some time; I will just in case you need to be reminded of what it says: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

So, the question made famous by Haddaway is “what is love.” More specifically, and to the point of this post, what can Song of Songs (SOS) teach us about love and, ultimately, how does it point to Christ?

Brief overview of Song of Solomon

As an overview, SOS is a poem or song written by Solomon (debatable to many because it is written as one man and one woman’s intense pursuit of each other, and Solomon had 700 women, not just one. But the book’s authorship is not the point here, so we’ll stick with the traditional idea that Solomon wrote this poem). SOS shows us what God’s intention is for marriage. It shows the reader that intimacy is a beautiful thing in the right setting and can be a form of worship. It has also been said that the book of proverbs is a boy’s book imploring the son to take a cold shower. In comparison, SOS is a girl’s book telling the young woman to take a cold shower. Solomon wrote both books, and in proverbs, he is talking to his son, and in SOS, the woman is talking more than half the time, and the man is speaking maybe 1/3 of the book. Besides, SOS is a book of the heart and emotion, and proverbs is a book for the mind and logic. Finally, and mentioned a bit later, the reader is reminded not to give in to passion before it is appropriate.

In all, SOS shows us that sex, intimacy, love, and passion are God-honoring actions when demonstrated in the correct setting. These things are beautiful and should be honored, cherished, and protected. We can not treat this casually because SOS shows us that this level of intimacy is not a casual thing. Because of this, the young women of the city are warned do not to stir up or awaken love until it is appropriate (SOS 2:7; SOS 3:5; SOS 8:4). SOS makes clear that this appropriate time is in marriage and between one man and one woman. The warning is that love is intense and powerful. It is like fire where if abused, it can destroy but can be life-giving if used appropriately and contained. It is beautiful when appropriate and ugly when abused.

Infatuation or Love?

One more thought before I go on to how this applies to Jesus: Love and infatuation are confusing and often, especially early in life, thought to be the same. But I like this short comparison I found while reading.

Infatuation leapt into bloom. Usually takes root and grows one day at a time.

Infatuation is accompanied by a sense of uncertainty. You are stimulated, thrilled, but not really happy. You’re miserable when he is absent. You can’t wait to see her again. Love begins with a feeling of security. You’re warm with a sense of nearness, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want her near. But near or far, no, she is yours; you can wait.

Infatuation says, “we must get married right away. I can’t risk losing him”. Love says, “don’t rush into anything. You are sure of one another. You can plan your future with confidence.”

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will discover it is difficult to enjoy one another unless you know it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturing of a friendship. You must be friends before you can truly be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he’s away, you wonder if he’s with another girl. When she is away, you wonder if she is with another guy. Sometimes you even check. Love means trust. You may fall into infatuation, but you never fall in love.

Infatuation might lead you to do things for which you might be sorry, but love never will. Love lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before (adapted from Landers, “infatuation or love?”

The two lovers in SOS have set themselves apart from anyone else this is seen in SOS 4:9-15. Paying close attention to verse 14, we read “…nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes, with all choice spices—” which when compared to Ex 30:23 we are reading the ingredients to anointing oil. This imagery to the ancient Jewish reader would have said Solomon is looking to anoint his young lover. This would, in effect, say we belong to each other. We are set apart from everyone else so we can be free to pursue each other without the fear of running off with someone else. Love commits itself to another. Love says even in the bad time, or when I do not feel love toward you, I am anointed to you. I am set apart for you. Infatuation runs to another person when things get tough. Love remains steadfast in the middle of the storm.

The imagery in the poem is not supposed to be visual. Each imagery is supposed to elicit a thought on what love is or does. For instance, the one shared in the previous paragraph shows that love is like an anointing oil declaring the couple is set apart for each other. No one else is allowed to come between the couple, or this would violate their anointing. Another quick example is that in SOS 4:11, Solomon says, “Your lips drip sweetness like the honeycomb, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue…”. Knowing that the lips and tongue are where speech comes from, the imagery here is that the young woman’s words are sweet to Solomon’s ears. He loves to hear her speak. Her words are uplifting, and the tone of her voice is sweet.

Jesus Christ in Song of Solomon

This song opens with the young woman remembering her beau; she remembers his smell and kisses. She then begins telling her friends about him. After publicly talking about the memory of her lover, she asks about him, she begins to seek him out. In fact, this hiding and seeking theme runs through the whole book. Each young lover is so in love with the other that they do not stop seeking after each other. Each individual throughout the book begins with a remembrance of the other. This memory sparks a desire to find the one they love. The intensity of their love for each other shows up as an intense pursuit. SOS is left open-ended as a way to say “the work of love is never finished,” the idea is that the pursuit of love is never “happily ever after” but is an ongoing adventure.

Both of these lovers have found someone that knows the other better than anyone else. They both choose to love each other despite knowing all their flaws. This love, being fully known and loved anyway, makes them want to declare their love to anyone who will listen. They have found something beautiful in each other, and telling others about this love is second nature.

Concluding the book, the author writes in verses 8:6-7 that love is as strong as death; ardent love is as unrelenting as Sheol (death). Love’s flames are fiery flames —the fiercest of all. Mighty waters cannot extinguish love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If a man were to give all his wealth for love, it would be utterly scorned”.

Throughout the book, there is a lot of garden imagery. These images include lilies, vineyards, blossoms, rose, trees, field, water, river, and a multitude of animals mentioned. When we read this imagery, we should be reminded of another famous garden in Eden. In that garden, we see that love is a gift from God. There both man and woman were free to express themselves without feeling shame over this expression. The two worshiped God because of the gift he provided. They were safe and anointed to each other with YHWH as their God. We see in the garden this perfect love untainted by sin. In SOS, we get a sense of what this may have looked like. Since this expression of love appears before and after the fall, we can have hope that this kind of love transcends sin. We can have hope that selfless beautifying love is something that sin cannot corrupt. Granted, sin can corrupt people and how we express love to each other. But we can know, through SOS, that there is a love that was present in the garden, in SOS, that carries into today where sin has no effect.

When God put his cherubim at the entrance of the garden, He was telling us that access back into this state of perfect love would be deadly. But love is as strong as death, and its passion is as severe as the grave. God in His perfect love shows us how far love is willing to go. How can God not do something when one glance from your eyes captures His heart (SOS 4:9)? Since God does not live in time, he can “remember” you even before you were born. When He thinks of your smile, laugh, and voice, He is drawn to step down from His throne and pursue you. But He knows love isn’t a one-way street, and His desire is for you to remember Him as well. To pursue Him as you would any other relationship. To spend time with Him and talk with Him is His desire. This is where some would say, “that seems selfish,” but these people would forget that love can only be expressed when there is no division in one’s heart. If two are not anointed to each other, and one goes astray, is this truly love? Yes, you can choose to love whomever you want, but everything and everyone will one day disappoint and let you down. The only exception to this is Jesus. He wants what is best for you, and he was willing to die to show you this. He proved that death can not stop love, and the grave could not bury love.

We can have this promise that one day we will be able to return to a time of love expressed in SOS because love came down from Heaven and died on a tree that would become our access to the tree of life. Because of Jesus, we have this hope: that even though our own relationships are often distorted by selfishness, love is a transcendent gift, and it’s meant to point us to something greater to the gift of God’s love that will one day permeate and transform his beloved world.

Because of Jesus, we can know we are loved even with our flaws, we are known better than anyone else knows us, we are given a promise of a restored relationship as it was in the garden and given a gift of intimacy that our hearts were created to desire. We are promised a hope that goes beyond living forever but includes begin known better than ever and loved because of who we are despite our flaws.